A family screen-time contract: an honest template.

Most family screen-time contracts found online are unusable. They are too long, too aspirational, and too obviously written by someone who doesn't have a tired 11-year-old at the kitchen table. This one is shorter. We use a version of it.

Adapt it. The exact wording matters less than that you and your kid agreed it once, signed it, and stuck it on the fridge.

The Outzy household screen-time contract

Devices we are talking about: any phone, tablet, laptop, or game console used outside of school work.

What we do not negotiate:

1. Devices charge in the kitchen overnight. This includes mum and dad. (why)
2. No screens at the table.
3. No screens before homework is done on a school day.
4. No phones / tablets in the bathroom.

These are not punishments. They are how the house works. We do not re-discuss them.

What we do negotiate, every six months:

1. The total daily limit for non-school screen use.
2. Which apps are allowed.
3. The age at which the next thing (own phone, social account, group chat, etc.) is on the table.

If you want to renegotiate before six months, you can; we will sit and talk. We may say no. We may say yes earlier than planned.

Our promise to you:

1. We will not snoop on your messages with your friends.
2. We will not lecture about screens for more than two minutes at a time.
3. We will explain our reasoning. We will not say "because I said so".
4. We will tell you the rules apply to us too, and we will mean it.

Your promise to us:

1. You will not lie about screen time. If you went over, you went over; you tell us.
2. You will not use someone else's account or phone to get around the rules.
3. If something on a screen makes you feel bad, you will tell one of us, and you will not be in trouble.

Signed: ______________ (parent) ______________ (parent) ______________ (kid) Date: ______________

How to use it

Sit down with your kid. Read it together. Edit it. Let the kid edit it. Then sign all three signatures and stick it on the fridge.

The act of signing is not symbolic. The data on commitment-and-consistency, going back to Cialdini's Influence (1984), shows that a written, signed commitment changes behaviour substantially more than a verbal one, even when the signature is "just on the fridge".

What goes wrong

Two patterns we see:

1. The contract is too aspirational. "No screens after 7pm on school nights" is unenforceable in most households. Don't put rules in the contract you won't actually defend; you will lose authority on every other rule when this one breaks.
2. The parent doesn't honour their own clause. The "phones charge in the kitchen, including mum and dad" clause is the one most often violated by parents. The kid notices. The contract dies.

If you can't honour a clause, take it out before signing. A short contract that holds beats a long contract that doesn't.

The deeper point

This contract isn't really about screens. It's about the kind of relationship you want with your child between 10 and 18: one where the rules are honest, the reasons are explained, and the kid gets a real vote. The phone decision comes from this.

That relationship is the actual product. The screen-time rule is just the first place you build it.